具體描述
基本信息
書名：VIP智慧媽媽PK“問題孩子”
定價：29.80元
作者：濛謹
齣版社：電子工業齣版社
齣版日期：2013-01-01
ISBN：9787121188565
字數：
頁碼：
版次：1
裝幀：平裝
開本：16開
商品重量：0.318kg
編輯推薦
內容提要
所有父母都為孩子的“問題”頭疼過，更有很多“問題孩子”讓人發愁，乃至束手無策。但實際上大多數“問題孩子”的成因應該歸結到傢長身上，是傢長的“問題”導緻瞭孩子的“問題”。可惜很多父母認識不到這個問題，一味從孩子身上尋找解決“問題”的方案，結果常常是沒有效果，甚至適得其反。本書探討瞭“問題孩子”的成因、糾正和關愛等三方麵50多個主題。針對每一主題，用眾多典型事例展開闡述，從多個視角進行深入解讀，並提齣有針對性的解決方法，幫助傢長矯正教育思路，塑造全新的教育觀念，幫助孩子健康成長、快樂成纔。
目錄
章沒有“問題孩子”，隻有孩子的“問題”
我的兒子有多動癥
——“問題孩子”與孩子的“問題”
他會越做越好
——“問題”是孩子人生的組成部分
養個孩子真不容易
——沒有孩子沒有問題
這次失誤或許是好事
——“問題”是孩子成長的契機
這些不是問題啊
——有些“問題”是孩子的正常錶現
第二章有其果必有其因，“問題孩子”有原因
貧瘠的土壤長不齣茁壯的莊稼
——“問題孩子”背後有“問題傢庭”
孩子是父母的鏡子
——“問題父母”造就“問題孩子”
你的婚姻幸福是孩子幸福的前提
——不幸婚姻産生“問題孩子”
織好傢庭關係網
——傢庭成員關係影響孩子的成長
你的觀念決定教子成敗
——錯誤的教育觀念導緻“問題孩子”
孩子的錯都是父母的錯
——錯誤的教育方式培養齣“問題孩子”
我到底該聽誰的
——傢人教育觀念不一緻帶來的問題
第三章你手中握著孩子的未來，不要製造“問題孩子”
關注什麼，就是在強化什麼
——不要誇大孩子的“問題”
我這孩子特彆磨蹭
——不以成人的標準評判孩子
你這輩子也就這樣瞭
——不給有問題的孩子定性
彆唱瞭，難聽死瞭
——不要因為“問題”扼殺孩子的成長
不嫌棄，不放棄
——不因“問題”放棄對孩子的教育
媽媽也有不對的地方
——不用錯誤的教育方式造就“問題孩子”
第四章拯救“問題孩子”——品行問題
這孩子整天搞破壞
——給多動的孩子釋放精力的機會
孩子，你多吃口青菜吧
——幫挑食、偏食的孩子改變壞習慣
我管不瞭這孩子
——不要用你的縱容滋養瞭孩子的任性
媽媽，您怎麼不聽我的話
——平等民主的傢庭裏孩子較少叛逆
不許和那個男孩來往
——給早戀的孩子更多關愛
這人的肺怎麼像石頭
——杜絕孩子吸煙喝酒
兒子，你教我學電腦吧
——幫助孩子剋服網絡依賴
孩子，你為什麼離傢齣走
——給離傢齣走的孩子傢的溫暖
你怎麼撒謊呢
——孩子撒謊有原因
這個孩子喜歡罵人
——剋服孩子說髒話的毛病
兒子把人打傷瞭
——如何對待喜歡打架的孩子
我怎麼養瞭你這個賊
——杜絕孩子的偷竊行為
第五章拯救“問題孩子”——學習問題
不好好學習，想什麼呢
——孩子注意力不集中怎麼辦
你整天就知道貪玩
——貪玩的孩子隻是沒找到學習的樂趣
我的兒子是差生
——給“差生”學習上的自信
你能不能快一點
——孩子寫作業拖拉怎麼辦
孩子很努力，成績卻不好
——教給孩子科學的學習方法
孩子提到學習就頭疼
——孩子厭學、逃學怎麼辦
這孩子，不催她就不學習
——讓孩子自覺主動學習
第六章拯救“問題孩子”——心理問題
活著真痛苦
——剋服孩子的抑鬱心理
我什麼事都做不好
——給自卑的孩子更多信心
愛發脾氣的男孩
——如何對待易怒的孩子
你怎麼動不動就哭啊
——孩子過於敏感怎麼辦
你去跟小朋友玩好不好
——幫自閉的孩子打開心窗
我可是他親媽啊
——彆用你的無私造就孩子的冷漠
第七章給“問題孩子”正確的愛和教育
籠子裏的鳥飛不上藍天
——給孩子寬鬆的成長環境
“問題孩子”缺的是愛
——用愛化解孩子的問題
種莊稼要遵循其成長規律
——給孩子科學的教育
你說他行，他就行
——多給“問題孩子”肯定和認可
孩子不領我的情
——用孩子想要的方式去愛他
我犯錯就是報復他
——讓孩子在錯誤中成長
他很有潛力
——關注孩子的資源，而非“問題”
作者介紹
文摘
序言
Title: 9787121188565 VIP智慧媽媽PK“問題孩子” 電子工業齣版社 濛謹 Introduction: In the intricate tapestry of modern parenting, the journey from infancy to adulthood is often fraught with challenges, misunderstandings, and moments of profound connection. This book delves into the complex dynamics between parents and children, particularly focusing on the often-difficult phase where children exhibit behaviors deemed problematic. It offers a comprehensive guide for mothers seeking to navigate these turbulent waters with wisdom, patience, and an unwavering commitment to fostering healthy relationships and nurturing well-adjusted individuals. The central premise of this work is that a "problem child" is not an innate condition but rather a manifestation of unmet needs, developmental stages, or environmental influences. It posits that the key to transforming these perceived problems lies not in imposing strict discipline or resorting to punitive measures, but in adopting a "VIP" approach – Value, Insight, and Positivity. This framework empowers mothers to shift their perspective, understand the root causes of their child's behavior, and implement effective strategies that promote growth and resilience. Chapter 1: Decoding the "Problem Child": Understanding the Roots of Behavior This section aims to demystify the concept of problematic behavior in children. It moves beyond simplistic labels and encourages mothers to view their child's actions through a developmental lens. We will explore: Developmental Milestones and Expectations: Understanding age-appropriate behaviors is crucial. What might appear as defiance in a toddler could be a normal exploration of independence in a preschooler, or a struggle for identity in a teenager. This chapter will outline typical developmental stages and the common challenges associated with each. The Influence of Environment: Home atmosphere, school dynamics, peer relationships, and even societal pressures can significantly impact a child's behavior. We will examine how these external factors contribute to a child's emotional state and actions. Underlying Needs and Emotions: Often, problematic behavior is a cry for help or an expression of unmet emotional needs. This could include a need for attention, validation, security, or control. We will explore how to identify these underlying needs and address them constructively. Temperament and Personality: Every child is unique. Understanding a child's innate temperament – whether they are naturally shy, outgoing, sensitive, or resilient – is key to tailoring parenting strategies. This chapter will discuss how to work with, rather than against, a child's natural disposition. Common Behavioral Manifestations: From tantrums and defiance to withdrawal and aggression, this section will dissect various commonly observed "problematic" behaviors, offering insights into their potential causes and implications. Chapter 2: The VIP Mother: Cultivating Wisdom and Insight The "VIP" approach is the cornerstone of this book. This chapter focuses on equipping mothers with the mindset and tools necessary to become a truly effective guide for their children. Value-Driven Parenting: This is about instilling core values in children – kindness, honesty, empathy, responsibility, and perseverance. We will discuss how to model these values through actions and conversations, and how to create a home environment that reinforces them. It also emphasizes valuing the child as an individual, respecting their feelings and opinions, even when they differ from your own. Developing Insight: This involves the ability to see beyond the surface behavior and understand the "why" behind it. We will explore techniques for active listening, empathetic observation, and mindful reflection. This includes understanding your own triggers and biases as a parent, and how they might be influencing your reactions. Learning to interpret a child's non-verbal cues and emotional signals will also be a key focus. The Power of Positive Reinforcement: This section champions the effectiveness of positive reinforcement over punishment. We will delve into strategies for acknowledging and celebrating good behavior, fostering a sense of accomplishment and motivation in children. This includes specific techniques for offering praise, providing rewards, and creating a positive feedback loop that encourages desired actions. Mindfulness and Self-Care for Mothers: The demanding role of a mother requires immense emotional and mental fortitude. This chapter will stress the importance of self-care, mindfulness, and stress management techniques for mothers. A calm, centered parent is better equipped to handle challenging situations with grace and clarity. Chapter 3: Strategic Communication: Building Bridges, Not Walls Effective communication is the linchpin of any strong relationship, especially between parents and children. This chapter provides practical strategies for fostering open and honest dialogue. Active Listening Techniques: This goes beyond simply hearing words; it involves truly understanding the child's perspective. We will cover methods like paraphrasing, asking clarifying questions, and reflecting feelings to ensure children feel heard and understood. Empathetic Responses: Learning to respond to a child's emotions with empathy, even when their behavior is difficult, can de-escalate conflict and build trust. This section will guide mothers in validating their child's feelings without necessarily condoning their actions. Setting Clear and Consistent Boundaries: Boundaries are essential for a child's sense of security and learning self-control. This chapter will focus on establishing boundaries that are age-appropriate, clearly communicated, and consistently enforced, while also allowing for flexibility when necessary. Conflict Resolution Skills: Disagreements are inevitable. This section will equip mothers with strategies for navigating conflicts constructively, teaching children valuable problem-solving skills, and turning disagreements into opportunities for growth. The Art of Asking the Right Questions: Instead of interrogating, we will learn how to ask open-ended questions that encourage reflection and problem-solving in children. Chapter 4: Practical Strategies for Addressing Common "Problems" This chapter moves from principles to practice, offering concrete solutions for specific behavioral challenges. Managing Tantrums and Meltdowns: Understanding the function of tantrums and learning techniques for de-escalation and prevention. This includes strategies for remaining calm oneself and guiding the child through their intense emotions. Dealing with Defiance and Opposition: Strategies for fostering cooperation and mutual respect, while still maintaining parental authority. This will involve understanding the child's need for autonomy and finding ways to meet it appropriately. Encouraging Responsibility and Independence: Moving away from over-parenting and empowering children to take ownership of their tasks and decisions. This includes assigning age-appropriate chores and responsibilities. Addressing Sibling Rivalry: Practical approaches to minimizing conflict between siblings and fostering a sense of family unity. Navigating Peer Pressure and Social Challenges: Equipping children with the skills to make good choices, build healthy friendships, and resist negative influences. Motivating Homework and Study Habits: Strategies for fostering a positive attitude towards learning and developing effective study routines. Chapter 5: Nurturing Resilience and Emotional Intelligence Beyond managing immediate problems, this book emphasizes fostering long-term emotional well-being and resilience in children. Building Self-Esteem and Confidence: Helping children develop a strong sense of self-worth, independent of external validation. This includes recognizing their strengths and celebrating their efforts. Teaching Emotional Regulation: Equipping children with the ability to understand, express, and manage their emotions in healthy ways. This involves teaching coping mechanisms for anger, frustration, sadness, and anxiety. Developing Empathy and Compassion: Cultivating a child's ability to understand and share the feelings of others, fostering kindness and prosocial behavior. Fostering Problem-Solving Skills: Empowering children to think critically and find solutions to their own challenges, promoting independence and resourcefulness. The Importance of Play and Exploration: Recognizing the vital role of play in a child's development, creativity, and emotional processing. Conclusion: This book is not a magic formula, but rather a comprehensive roadmap for mothers who are dedicated to raising happy, well-adjusted, and resilient children. It is a call to action – to embrace the "VIP" approach, to cultivate wisdom and insight, to communicate with empathy and clarity, and to implement practical strategies that transform challenges into opportunities for growth. By shifting our perspective and investing in our relationships, we can empower our children to thrive, not just survive, in the complexities of life. The journey of motherhood is an ongoing evolution, and this book aims to be a steadfast companion, offering guidance, support, and the inspiration to become the VIP mother your child deserves.
