具体描述
基本信息
书名：VIP智慧妈妈PK“问题孩子”
定价：29.80元
作者：蒙谨
出版社：电子工业出版社
出版日期：2013-01-01
ISBN：9787121188565
字数：
页码：
版次：1
装帧：平装
开本：16开
商品重量：0.318kg
编辑推荐
内容提要
所有父母都为孩子的“问题”头疼过，更有很多“问题孩子”让人发愁，乃至束手无策。但实际上大多数“问题孩子”的成因应该归结到家长身上，是家长的“问题”导致了孩子的“问题”。可惜很多父母认识不到这个问题，一味从孩子身上寻找解决“问题”的方案，结果常常是没有效果，甚至适得其反。本书探讨了“问题孩子”的成因、纠正和关爱等三方面50多个主题。针对每一主题，用众多典型事例展开阐述，从多个视角进行深入解读，并提出有针对性的解决方法，帮助家长矫正教育思路，塑造全新的教育观念，帮助孩子健康成长、快乐成才。
目录
章没有“问题孩子”，只有孩子的“问题”
我的儿子有多动症
——“问题孩子”与孩子的“问题”
他会越做越好
——“问题”是孩子人生的组成部分
养个孩子真不容易
——没有孩子没有问题
这次失误或许是好事
——“问题”是孩子成长的契机
这些不是问题啊
——有些“问题”是孩子的正常表现
第二章有其果必有其因，“问题孩子”有原因
贫瘠的土壤长不出茁壮的庄稼
——“问题孩子”背后有“问题家庭”
孩子是父母的镜子
——“问题父母”造就“问题孩子”
你的婚姻幸福是孩子幸福的前提
——不幸婚姻产生“问题孩子”
织好家庭关系网
——家庭成员关系影响孩子的成长
你的观念决定教子成败
——错误的教育观念导致“问题孩子”
孩子的错都是父母的错
——错误的教育方式培养出“问题孩子”
我到底该听谁的
——家人教育观念不一致带来的问题
第三章你手中握着孩子的未来，不要制造“问题孩子”
关注什么，就是在强化什么
——不要夸大孩子的“问题”
我这孩子特别磨蹭
——不以成人的标准评判孩子
你这辈子也就这样了
——不给有问题的孩子定性
别唱了，难听死了
——不要因为“问题”扼杀孩子的成长
不嫌弃，不放弃
——不因“问题”放弃对孩子的教育
妈妈也有不对的地方
——不用错误的教育方式造就“问题孩子”
第四章拯救“问题孩子”——品行问题
这孩子整天搞破坏
——给多动的孩子释放精力的机会
孩子，你多吃口青菜吧
——帮挑食、偏食的孩子改变坏习惯
我管不了这孩子
——不要用你的纵容滋养了孩子的任性
妈妈，您怎么不听我的话
——平等民主的家庭里孩子较少叛逆
不许和那个男孩来往
——给早恋的孩子更多关爱
这人的肺怎么像石头
——杜绝孩子吸烟喝酒
儿子，你教我学电脑吧
——帮助孩子克服网络依赖
孩子，你为什么离家出走
——给离家出走的孩子家的温暖
你怎么撒谎呢
——孩子撒谎有原因
这个孩子喜欢骂人
——克服孩子说脏话的毛病
儿子把人打伤了
——如何对待喜欢打架的孩子
我怎么养了你这个贼
——杜绝孩子的偷窃行为
第五章拯救“问题孩子”——学习问题
不好好学习，想什么呢
——孩子注意力不集中怎么办
你整天就知道贪玩
——贪玩的孩子只是没找到学习的乐趣
我的儿子是差生
——给“差生”学习上的自信
你能不能快一点
——孩子写作业拖拉怎么办
孩子很努力，成绩却不好
——教给孩子科学的学习方法
孩子提到学习就头疼
——孩子厌学、逃学怎么办
这孩子，不催她就不学习
——让孩子自觉主动学习
第六章拯救“问题孩子”——心理问题
活着真痛苦
——克服孩子的抑郁心理
我什么事都做不好
——给自卑的孩子更多信心
爱发脾气的男孩
——如何对待易怒的孩子
你怎么动不动就哭啊
——孩子过于敏感怎么办
你去跟小朋友玩好不好
——帮自闭的孩子打开心窗
我可是他亲妈啊
——别用你的无私造就孩子的冷漠
第七章给“问题孩子”正确的爱和教育
笼子里的鸟飞不上蓝天
——给孩子宽松的成长环境
“问题孩子”缺的是爱
——用爱化解孩子的问题
种庄稼要遵循其成长规律
——给孩子科学的教育
你说他行，他就行
——多给“问题孩子”肯定和认可
孩子不领我的情
——用孩子想要的方式去爱他
我犯错就是报复他
——让孩子在错误中成长
他很有潜力
——关注孩子的资源，而非“问题”
作者介绍
文摘
序言
Title: 9787121188565 VIP智慧妈妈PK“问题孩子” 电子工业出版社 蒙谨 Introduction: In the intricate tapestry of modern parenting, the journey from infancy to adulthood is often fraught with challenges, misunderstandings, and moments of profound connection. This book delves into the complex dynamics between parents and children, particularly focusing on the often-difficult phase where children exhibit behaviors deemed problematic. It offers a comprehensive guide for mothers seeking to navigate these turbulent waters with wisdom, patience, and an unwavering commitment to fostering healthy relationships and nurturing well-adjusted individuals. The central premise of this work is that a "problem child" is not an innate condition but rather a manifestation of unmet needs, developmental stages, or environmental influences. It posits that the key to transforming these perceived problems lies not in imposing strict discipline or resorting to punitive measures, but in adopting a "VIP" approach – Value, Insight, and Positivity. This framework empowers mothers to shift their perspective, understand the root causes of their child's behavior, and implement effective strategies that promote growth and resilience. Chapter 1: Decoding the "Problem Child": Understanding the Roots of Behavior This section aims to demystify the concept of problematic behavior in children. It moves beyond simplistic labels and encourages mothers to view their child's actions through a developmental lens. We will explore: Developmental Milestones and Expectations: Understanding age-appropriate behaviors is crucial. What might appear as defiance in a toddler could be a normal exploration of independence in a preschooler, or a struggle for identity in a teenager. This chapter will outline typical developmental stages and the common challenges associated with each. The Influence of Environment: Home atmosphere, school dynamics, peer relationships, and even societal pressures can significantly impact a child's behavior. We will examine how these external factors contribute to a child's emotional state and actions. Underlying Needs and Emotions: Often, problematic behavior is a cry for help or an expression of unmet emotional needs. This could include a need for attention, validation, security, or control. We will explore how to identify these underlying needs and address them constructively. Temperament and Personality: Every child is unique. Understanding a child's innate temperament – whether they are naturally shy, outgoing, sensitive, or resilient – is key to tailoring parenting strategies. This chapter will discuss how to work with, rather than against, a child's natural disposition. Common Behavioral Manifestations: From tantrums and defiance to withdrawal and aggression, this section will dissect various commonly observed "problematic" behaviors, offering insights into their potential causes and implications. Chapter 2: The VIP Mother: Cultivating Wisdom and Insight The "VIP" approach is the cornerstone of this book. This chapter focuses on equipping mothers with the mindset and tools necessary to become a truly effective guide for their children. Value-Driven Parenting: This is about instilling core values in children – kindness, honesty, empathy, responsibility, and perseverance. We will discuss how to model these values through actions and conversations, and how to create a home environment that reinforces them. It also emphasizes valuing the child as an individual, respecting their feelings and opinions, even when they differ from your own. Developing Insight: This involves the ability to see beyond the surface behavior and understand the "why" behind it. We will explore techniques for active listening, empathetic observation, and mindful reflection. This includes understanding your own triggers and biases as a parent, and how they might be influencing your reactions. Learning to interpret a child's non-verbal cues and emotional signals will also be a key focus. The Power of Positive Reinforcement: This section champions the effectiveness of positive reinforcement over punishment. We will delve into strategies for acknowledging and celebrating good behavior, fostering a sense of accomplishment and motivation in children. This includes specific techniques for offering praise, providing rewards, and creating a positive feedback loop that encourages desired actions. Mindfulness and Self-Care for Mothers: The demanding role of a mother requires immense emotional and mental fortitude. This chapter will stress the importance of self-care, mindfulness, and stress management techniques for mothers. A calm, centered parent is better equipped to handle challenging situations with grace and clarity. Chapter 3: Strategic Communication: Building Bridges, Not Walls Effective communication is the linchpin of any strong relationship, especially between parents and children. This chapter provides practical strategies for fostering open and honest dialogue. Active Listening Techniques: This goes beyond simply hearing words; it involves truly understanding the child's perspective. We will cover methods like paraphrasing, asking clarifying questions, and reflecting feelings to ensure children feel heard and understood. Empathetic Responses: Learning to respond to a child's emotions with empathy, even when their behavior is difficult, can de-escalate conflict and build trust. This section will guide mothers in validating their child's feelings without necessarily condoning their actions. Setting Clear and Consistent Boundaries: Boundaries are essential for a child's sense of security and learning self-control. This chapter will focus on establishing boundaries that are age-appropriate, clearly communicated, and consistently enforced, while also allowing for flexibility when necessary. Conflict Resolution Skills: Disagreements are inevitable. This section will equip mothers with strategies for navigating conflicts constructively, teaching children valuable problem-solving skills, and turning disagreements into opportunities for growth. The Art of Asking the Right Questions: Instead of interrogating, we will learn how to ask open-ended questions that encourage reflection and problem-solving in children. Chapter 4: Practical Strategies for Addressing Common "Problems" This chapter moves from principles to practice, offering concrete solutions for specific behavioral challenges. Managing Tantrums and Meltdowns: Understanding the function of tantrums and learning techniques for de-escalation and prevention. This includes strategies for remaining calm oneself and guiding the child through their intense emotions. Dealing with Defiance and Opposition: Strategies for fostering cooperation and mutual respect, while still maintaining parental authority. This will involve understanding the child's need for autonomy and finding ways to meet it appropriately. Encouraging Responsibility and Independence: Moving away from over-parenting and empowering children to take ownership of their tasks and decisions. This includes assigning age-appropriate chores and responsibilities. Addressing Sibling Rivalry: Practical approaches to minimizing conflict between siblings and fostering a sense of family unity. Navigating Peer Pressure and Social Challenges: Equipping children with the skills to make good choices, build healthy friendships, and resist negative influences. Motivating Homework and Study Habits: Strategies for fostering a positive attitude towards learning and developing effective study routines. Chapter 5: Nurturing Resilience and Emotional Intelligence Beyond managing immediate problems, this book emphasizes fostering long-term emotional well-being and resilience in children. Building Self-Esteem and Confidence: Helping children develop a strong sense of self-worth, independent of external validation. This includes recognizing their strengths and celebrating their efforts. Teaching Emotional Regulation: Equipping children with the ability to understand, express, and manage their emotions in healthy ways. This involves teaching coping mechanisms for anger, frustration, sadness, and anxiety. Developing Empathy and Compassion: Cultivating a child's ability to understand and share the feelings of others, fostering kindness and prosocial behavior. Fostering Problem-Solving Skills: Empowering children to think critically and find solutions to their own challenges, promoting independence and resourcefulness. The Importance of Play and Exploration: Recognizing the vital role of play in a child's development, creativity, and emotional processing. Conclusion: This book is not a magic formula, but rather a comprehensive roadmap for mothers who are dedicated to raising happy, well-adjusted, and resilient children. It is a call to action – to embrace the "VIP" approach, to cultivate wisdom and insight, to communicate with empathy and clarity, and to implement practical strategies that transform challenges into opportunities for growth. By shifting our perspective and investing in our relationships, we can empower our children to thrive, not just survive, in the complexities of life. The journey of motherhood is an ongoing evolution, and this book aims to be a steadfast companion, offering guidance, support, and the inspiration to become the VIP mother your child deserves.
